A New High from H&I

Sunday, 21 February 2010 23:55

Our primary purpose is to carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers.

One way we do this is by holding meetings in Hospitals and Institutions for people who are not able to attend outside meetings. Institutions served may include, but not be limited to, correctional facilities, sanitariums, detox units, juvenile detention centers, half-way houses and shelters; either governmental or private. Confinement may be voluntary or involuntary.

Through working with others in H & I's, members of Cocaine Anonymous share their experience, strength and hope. Below are some of our feelings about out H & I experiences.

Remembering Where We Came From

"My first experience with doing H & I work was when I had 90 days sober and went to speak on a panel at a hospital. I was sure I had nothing to offer, nothing to say. I sat there listening to the speakers before me and knew they had said everything I wanted to say. When it was my turn, I just opened my mouth and let the words pour out. I not only said what someone in the room needed to hear, but things that I needed to hear.

"When the meeting was over, I spent some time talking to the patients and shared some more of my hope, faith and courage. I left that meeting feeling a sense of happiness and joy I never felt before. I still feel that high whenever I speak on a panel, especially to a group of adolescents."

"H & I helps me to remember where I came from. It also allows me to watch the miracle of recovery change others and in doing so, it allows me to change myself. There are no words that can describe the feeling inside when someone I first met at an H & I panel gets his/her first year token."

"Being a recovering addict, the most dangerous thing for me is to forget that I am an addict or to think that I can use successfully, but that is exactly what my addiction tries to get me to believe. Whenever I go into a detox meeting, I am always reminded of the simple truth of addiction and its consequences. This helps me to stay sober and to be grateful for my recovery. It was passed through this method to me, and I feel blessed to be able to carry on the tradition."

Gratitude

"Leaving the correctional facility, I feel ecstatic; grateful for the privilege of being a vehicle of my Higher Power and hopeful that a seed may have been planted in the mind of even one still-suffering addict. I share the miracle of my recovery and how Cocaine Anonymous has changed my life; H & I service work helps me to stay clean and sober today. This is one of the ways it works for me. Through service in H & I, my gratitude is multiplied."

"As a parent, when I leave a youth lockdown facility, I thank God that it wasn't one of my children listening to the panel. Most of all, I feel grateful that I am sober and carrying the message of C.A. to those who are not so fortunate."

"My reason for H & I is a selfish one. To stay clean and remain grateful for what I have. It offers me a feeling of usefulness to God and to mankind."

"The look in the patient's eyes, the sweat on their foreheads and on the palms of their hands; they're not sure if they can stay sober another day. That makes you feel grateful because when the meeting is over, you're going home. That's the only difference between you and them."

"Gratitude...
Doors opening instead of closing,
being able to give it away
the hunger for recovery
The newcomer in a hospital or institution... gives me humility and constant realization of hope."

Hope

"It is my belief that sharing my experience, strength and hope through H & I's, I hope that I may in some small way help another suffering addict see a glimmer of hope and a better way of life. But for the grace of God... there go I."

"When I speak on an H & I panel, the feeling that something special is going on is immediate. The patients' or inmates' eyes light up as I'm telling my story. They've been where I've been and have felt what I've felt... hopelessness. Now they're sitting in a hospital or jail, wondering 'Where do I go from here?' As I share the path my recovery has taken, I see at times the look of hope re-enter their faces. As they think 'Maybe this will work for me, too.' I feel great, sharing my hope, faith and courage with the addicts who need it most."

A New High from H & I

"What do I get out of H & I? Being affiliated with H & I has given me a broader outlook on who I am as a person, because I have to give it away to keep it. Just being able to walk in and out of institutions is a blessing."

"During my 26 years that I used on a daily basis, I never experienced the euphoria that I enjoyed last month. While attending a C.A. panel two years ago in a center for the Department of Corrections, I observed a new inmate in complete denial of his disease. During the next year and a half, I received the gift of watching this man grow through the Twelve Steps. He was released to a half-way house where C.A. holds another panel, and both of us participated on that panel. Last month, he attended the H & I committee meeting and was placed on a panel that is going back to the same jail in which we met. That same night, he picked up his 18-month chip."

"When people look at me today, laughing and cheerful, many ask me what I'm up to. My response is consistently, 'I'm working with others.'"

If you like what you've read here, identify with the feelings being shared, and want to feel similar feelings, you can attend your local H & I committee meeting and participate in your own recovery by helping others.

Cocaine Anonymous

"We're Here and We're Free"

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Cocaine Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from their addiction. The best way to reach someone is to speak to them on a common level The members of C.A. are all recovering addicts who maintain their individual sobriety...

Who Is a Cocaine Addict?

Some of us can answer without hesitation, "I am!" Others aren't so sure. Cocaine Anonymous believes that no one can decide for another whether he or she is addicted. One thing is sure, though; every single one of us has denied being an addict. For months, for years, we who now freely admit that we are...

Welcome to Cocaine Anonymous!

We are all here for the same reason - our inability to stop using cocaine. The first step towards solving any problem is understanding the problem. The Problem The Problem, as we see it, consists of an obsession of the mind and a compulsion of the body. The obsession is a continued and irresistible thought...

This section describes one method for taking the Twelve Steps of Cocaine Anonymous. To help us work the Twelve Steps, Cocaine Anonymous uses a text entitled Alcoholics Anonymous, commonly referred to as "the Big Book." When studying this text, some of us find it useful to substitute the word "cocaine" for "alcohol" and the word "using" for "drinking," although...

There comes a time when the cocaine stops working--a time when the coke, the other drugs, and all the madness become unbearable. By then, you just can't stop, so you manage to score and somehow survive and keep on using because, although it's killing you, cocaine has become the most important thing in your life. If you somehow, some way, get a break...

As a newcomer, you may have thought or said, "What's this talk about God? I came here to stop using cocaine, not to join a new religion." Don't feel alone. Many of us were put off with the talk about God when we first came to meetings. It is easy enough to confuse the word spirituality with religion. As it relates to God, Cocaine Anonymous is a spiritual program,...

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Here are some tips to help you stay clean and sober... Take the 12 Steps of Cocaine Anonymous. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Don't use between meetings. Don't drink or use no matter what. Throw away all your drug paraphernalia. Get a sponsor. Call your sponsor every day. Avoid people, places and things that you associate with drug use. Don't deal drugs. Get phone numbers and use them. If no one is home, and you're in trouble, call the Hotline. Be...

Why Sponsorship? By this time you may have gone to meetings and heard lots of talk about working the Steps, a power greater than ourselves and getting a sponsor. You may also have become aware that Cocaine Anonymous is based on the Twelve...

" ... we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life." 1 One of the most surprising things a newcomer may hear at a C.A. meeting is the sound of laughter. How is it possible that the same people who probably started drinking or using drugs in the pursuit of a good time are now having an even better time without mind-altering substances? At first out of necessity, and then from an honest desire to be open to new experiences,...

In addition to finding a spiritual way of life, recovery is about changing negative aspects of our personalities into positive ones. We came into the program with big egos but little or no self-esteem. We thought we were better than other people yet, at the same time, felt "less than." We were people who took from others and abused friendships all of our lives. We had no concept of doing anything for anyone without the thought of some kind of reward. By the sheer grace of our Higher Powers, we have found...

"At first it was fun. Then it reached the point where every time I used, I had chest pains and my heart beat would go crazy; and yet I couldn't stop." "There I lay in the hospital, almost dead from an overdose. My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest and yet all I could think about was getting another hit." "I couldn't stop until my whole paycheck was gone. I promised myself that next week it would be different -- 'I'll only do one' -- but one turned into two, two turned into three, and...

STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over cocaine and all other mind-altering substances — that our lives had become unmanageable. TRADITION THREE: The only requirement for C.A. membership is a desire to stop using cocaine and all other mind-altering substances. Many people come to Cocaine Anonymous thinking one of two things: "I rarely (or never) even used cocaine. I don't think I belong here," or "What exactly does the 'and all other mind-altering substances' part mean? I came to Cocaine Anonymous...

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Hope, Faith and Courage: Stories from the Fellowship of Cocaine Anonymous was first published in 1994. As its title suggests, this powerful collection of stories delivers the message of recovery as it has been experienced by members of our fellowship, in their own words. The following excerpt from Hope, Faith and Courage is often read at meetings of Cocaine Anonymous: Reaching Out I made it into this Program because someone else worked their Twelfth Step on me. Someone passed it on to me. Someone was...

BECOMING PART OF
It is the common experience for many of us to feel like we didn't fit in anywhere. Drugs gave us that instantaneous feeling of belonging. When we get sober, that drug-induced feeling of belonging disappears. Finding a group of sober people we can relate to is a new start for us. We go to meetings as often as possible, preferably every day. Before long, we find we are most comfortable at one particular meeting. Because we feel "at home" there, we join the home group and commit to attending...

Unity is a common bond that transcends all differences. We've discovered no matter how different our circumstances or the paths that brought us here, we all suffer from the same disease: addiction. We admitted our lack of power and accepted that we could not recover alone. The strength and direction of our recovery is found in our unity. We are people who might never have mixed. Addiction and recovery are the threads that bind us. We relate to such feelings as grandiosity, insecurity, jealousy, and false pride and...

Every C.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Where does the money in the basket go? You are like many of us when we first came into the rooms of Cocaine Anonymous — we put our money into the basket and then we saw that one person who we thought was the boss or president of C.A. take the money and put it into an envelope or into his or her pocket or pocketbook. At first, this did not seem to be a big deal; then, we came to a point at which we wondered what happened to...

Our primary purpose is to carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers. One way we do this is by holding meetings in Hospitals and Institutions for people who are not able to attend outside meetings. Institutions served may include, but not be limited to, correctional facilities, sanitariums, detox units, juvenile detention centers, half-way houses and shelters; either governmental or private. Confinement may be voluntary or involuntary. Through working with others in H & I's, members...

In the ancient world, when children were discovered to be deaf, they were often disowned and left to die or fend for themselves. Currently, six to ten percent of the United States' general population are deaf or hard of hearing. Of that number, ten percent are addicts and/or alcoholics (approximately 2 million). Without access to a program of recovery, this very large group of people are again, left to die or fend for themselves. Cocaine Anonymous' preamble states that "our primary purpose...